Another year draws to an end.
Another one looms ahead.
Last year, at about this time I
felt that I had just swam the Amazon chased by the crocodiles after my own boat
got wrecked and got away with some lost limbs. But the overriding feeling was
that of having got away.
This year I had a new rented boat
with me, all new and shiny and fitted with some gadgets. The ride has been
smoother and more comfortable. But having said that, the trip forward has
forebodings of unknown. The shine of the boat is gone, the water is showing
signs of early choppiness and I just sense that a few crocs may rear their
heads again. Maybe these ones latched on to the rear of the boat and are
waiting to snap again. It is just good that I do not own the boat this time.
Enough of rhetoric and imagery!
2016 would remain special because
we could celebrate two unique occasions—the golden jubilee of my parents
marital life and the attainment of 5 years by my daughter. Two occasions where
I put in my whole effort and barring a few small blemishes, managed to do
justice to expectations. That is important because living upto expectations are
the biggest challenges of life.
This year was more financially
comfortable and I believe I made a successful transit from being an entrepreneur
to a domesticated obedient worker. It was the need of the year and I proudly
claim that I managed to do it without much ado. Only the death of a few dreams
ended up being collateral damage.
My daughter grew up this year.
She continues to stun me at times when she lowers her guard and I feel
surprised to see how well she hides her real self. I hope that I live up to her
My parents grow older and every
year takes a bigger bite into their health. A matter of concern about which I
can do nothing!! I feel helpless but that is perhaps inevitable. The umbrella
under which I grew up continues to become thinner every year.
And friends!! What would I have
done without them!!! Thanks for being
there once again.
ADIEU 2016!! Thanks for teaching
me that you are only as good as what the others perceive you to be and it’s the
results as expected and interpreted by the person facing you and not the
reality which matters in the end.
Living together for 50 years is a
helluva long time.
It speaks of immense patience served
with generous dollops of love, sacrifice, ability to fight odds without giving
an inch and garnished with respect for each other.
It is an achievement which
everyone does not have the ability to
On the 10th of July
2016, my parents just did that. They completed a journey of 50 years of roller
coaster married life full of the proverbial ups and downs.
Being their only child I had the
privilege to share 47 of these glorious years – and it has been more of a joy
ride than a bumpy one for me, thanks to the cushion laid out on my pathway by my
Maaaan, am I lucky and proud!!!
On the 10th when I was
asked to speak on the occasion in front of a gathering consisting of family
members who had gathered to celebrate the occasion, I found myself
at a loss of words. After all, what do you say about someone to whom you owe
your existence and sustenance. Does one eulogise? Or wax eloquent on the
relationship high points? Or does one recount the golden days of the childhood?
Or even joke about the rare differences of opinion?
You do not thank or speak to the
pillars of your life. You just hug them and hope to hold on to them for your
So, I took the easy way out. I
just let my emotions take over. I said mighty little, most of which was
But hopefully people understood that I meant nothing more
than the following:-
‘Ma and Baba, may I have the
honour of being your child for all my subsequent lives?”
The year-end synopsis is well due I guess. Also, I should
follow the ritual that I had started about 3 years back—Looking back at the
year passed and end it with an eye to the future.
Well, here goes …..
2015 – A watershed year surely in my life ; a year that
pushed me into the abyss of financial trouble with all sources virtually drying
up. It was an hourly fight for creating funds for survival. Having said that,
this was also the year where benefactors loomed up and lent me their shoulders
to help me scrape through at the very last moment.
Maitreyi De Sarkar, Shubhayu Sengupta, Anannya Chakraborty
and Antora Chauhan—if you are reading this – I owe you all big time and would
pray to the almighty to provide me with the necessary muscle to shore you up
if, God forbid, you happen to land in a dump. Even when the accounts get
settled, these debts would remain unpaid as it was not only the finances but
the psychological boosters given by you which pulled me through.
This year would also surprise at the very end with me
deciding to leave business and take up a job again after 8 long years.6 months
ago, I would have scoffed at the possibility of such occurrence as frivolous
and impossible. This goes to show how the plans for the future are best left to
The consistent positive has been my daughter. She has been a
constant source of joy and fun and has grown every hour. Also, a word for my
family who have really felt the brunt of this crisis without much ado!
That brings us to the next year.
As I said and learnt the hard way, planning for the future
is for fools but I can always hope for an easier time ahead --- specially more
comfort in finances , more work , more joys from my daughter as she grows up and
challenges me to grow up with her and consistent improved health from my now
rapidly aging parents. Also, I hope that my partner in crime, my wife, gets her
due in her career. God knows that she deserves it.
I prefer calling you that! I also know that you will not be
able to read this letter now. If at all you get to read this , then hopefully by
then , you would have grown up to understand what lies beneath the letters
covering this page.
Tomorrow you turn Three! It’s your birthday tomorrow! A
grand old age of 3 years J.
Mamma, mamma, I have such a lot to tell you and i know not
whether I will be able to share it all with you, because, you will realise with
time that I am not really a very strong person who likes to share all in
public.. But I guess that this is the right time to start and as your “mumum “says
I am probably better off with the written word than with the verbal.
Tomorrow also marks more than two years of sheer unbridled
joy for me! It’s the joy of having you in my life. It’s the joy of growing up
all over again with you, it’s the joy of smiling with you, playing with you,
fighting with you and getting my tear wiped by you. It’s joy of riding the
roller coaster of life with you, the joy of belonging to you.
I remember the lusty cry that you gave once you were placed
in my arms and how you quietened down and slept on my shoulders. I remember how
I did not move a muscle for an hour lest you would wake up. But I remember the
most the sunshine that you brought into our lives the moment you smiled once
you woke up.
It has coincidentally been a rather trying period for me
professionally and financially. Some days it has been more than an effort just
to drag one off to home. It has been a tightrope jugglery for over a year and as
I write this, this is not over yet. It is consuming every inch of my energy and
patience to pull through. However, the moment I reach home and get welcomed
with the yelps of joy and a hug from you, I get an added boost to take upon the
whole darned world.
It is at this crucial juncture that I finally get my mind
together to write to you.
My love, in you I see a rare understanding self and a
rather soft and caring persona. That I
dare say is a lovely combination. But the world that you inherit would be a harsh
one and my job would be to groom you with the shield for protection against
I would not burden you with much more in the first letter
itself. Hopefully, I would continue this trend of writing to you till both of
us mature enough to talk and understand directly.
At the moment, let me raise my hands in silent thanks to the
Almighty for selecting me as your father.
I have always been lucky that I had been taught by people with special acumen.
Starting with my parents who quickly understood what the need of the day was promptly got me admitted in a great school ( first in my family to be admitted to an english medium ICSE school) and also allowed me the leeway to form my own opinions about life.
St. Xavier's School , Durgapur would be the institution which really created me as I am today. it taught me that education is serious business and education is fun. I shall not mention any one separately lest I commit the sin of missing out someone. I learnt that maths, physics, chemistry, biology is fun. I learnt that history created me, geography lives round me, and english is a love affair. I also learnt that cricket , football and table tennis is serious business. I had also learnt that exams are routine affairs which are not to be frightened off! Above all, I learnt to get along in life with a smile on my lips come what may!
Bidhan Institution taught me competition and time management--- how to snatch time away for a cricket match when you are getting ready for the heavy duty things like entrance examinations.
Durgapur Government college taught me that there is nothing called ultimate failure. There is always a new path to take once the original one is closed.
Department of Business Management , Jadavpur University taught me the rules of daily survival and broke the shell of the shy little boy that I was then.
Work took me across the east and north east of India and the different bosses taught me how to build the future and how to think on my feet.
And of course, my friends!! They continue to teach me till date , every moment!